Deathmatches Inc
by Kraton9000
Summary: It's not really Smash Bros. but it is Nintendo charcters beating each other up so...yeah. Full of cameos, references and random nonsense, Deathmatches Inc., funded by Kraton9000 is proud to present to you...mayhem. -Violence Genre Needed-


**Hey, guys. Kraton9000 here. So yeah, here goes.  
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.  
**

It was a foggy evening at Deathmatches Inc. From goombas to Ganon, metroids to Marth, everyone was here for this exciting match. Mario & Luigi?...well…they were here too. Just, not where they were supposed to be. They were locked in the basement.  
"M-Mario! I thought I saw a boo!" screamed Luigi.  
"Oh grow up, Lui-Aaaah!" Mario hollered. He turned around to see Luigi breathing on his face.  
"Okay, now THAT'S scary. Anyways, I think I found the handle. Eunh…Yah!" Meanwhile, everyone had taken their seats in the stadium, eagerly awaiting their not-so beloved announcers. Thud! The cellar door flies open with a panicking Luigi flying out.  
"Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow!" He lands on his behind, rubbing it like there's no tomorrow. Soon after, Mario comes out, mumbling something under his breath.  
"Anyways…hello everyone! I'm-a Mario! And this…"  
"…Is the great overlord, Luigi!" Luigi abruptly finishes.  
"Let's just get this thing going." Mario grumbles, while walking up the concrete stairs to his seat in the announcer's booth. Luigi follows, waving to his so-called fans. The arena was a magnificent place, with astounding architecture & the ability to survive all-terrain. Yes, this fine piece of art was soon to be destroyed in yet another glorious deathmatch.

"So, without further ado, let's-a introduce today's contestants!" Mario said. A roar of excitement went out through the crowd.  
"Hey, Luigi, have you ever wanted to see 2 famous swordsmen duke it out in a battle of the ages?"  
"Not really."  
"Well, too bad for you. Lolos and Goombas, give it up for the hero of time, Link!" The air throughout the stadium filled with mist (well, more mist). A beam of light shone from the clouds and the master sword fell from the heavens, lodging itself in the ground. Then, a figure appeared at the right of the stadium. He sported a green tunic and a matching green cap. On his back, a royal shield. He slowly made his way to the sword. The crowd watched in anticipation, not daring to make a sound, as it would destroy the epic-ness. Hands on the sword, he began to pull.  
"Ungh…Yaaaah!" The crowd roared! Link posed as he held the sword high above his head, the light gleaming on its tip.  
"Wow. I only know 1 person who can beat that entrance." said Mario.  
"Ike?" Luigi said, hopefully.  
"What? No, I meant me." Mario takes a moment to bathe in his self-glory.  
"Ike's horrible at entrances."  
"Oh, yeah? We'll see about that!" Luigi snorted, confidently.  
"Introducing, Ike!" Ike strutted in from the left side of the stadium, sword in hand. He humbly waved to the crowd, who cheered him on nevertheless.  
"*sigh*, You win." With a boasting smile, Mario called upon Toadsworth, the referee. A small door opened in the middle of the stadium. From the door, came an equally-small, aging, mushroom-like man, holding 2 flags for no reason whatsoever. He scoffed, then began.  
"Gentlemen, I want a clean fight. No final smashes, no suicidal hits, no hurting me or Mario."  
"Hey!" interrupted Luigi.  
"Oh, and Ike, no swearing." Ike grumbled.  
"Now, I want you both to shake hands." The 2 warriors step up. As they stretch their hands out, an invisible laser is shot between their eyes. The inevitable laser that means _You're going down!_ As they finish, Toadsworth walks back into his door.

"Now, as you all know, here at Deathmatches Inc., we never have a _normal_ fight." Mario said, smugly.  
"So...QUICK! Drop your swords!" Startled, they both obediently drop their swords and frantically start looking around.  
"Haha! Okee-dokee, go grab the other guys' sword." Luigi said, bursting with laughter.  
"What?!" Ike & Link said simultaneously.  
"JUST DO IT, ALREADY!" an impatient Ganondorf yelled. Scared by, not his fearsome power, but his ugly face, Ike and Link ran around to the guys' sword, attempting to pick it up.  
"This is a 2-handed sword!" Link complained.  
"How am I supposed to fight with this?"  
"I CAN'T PICK THIS FREAKING THING UP!" A sputtering Ike agreed.  
"Don't worry, we've got that covered." Mario said. Two flyguys came up to the swords spilled some "fairy dust" on them.  
"Hey, isn't that mine?!" Link argued. Ignoring him, Ike picked up his (which used to be Link's) sword.  
"Ugh."  
"So, when do we get to practice?" Link asked, juggling his (which used to be Ike's) sword.  
"Practice?!" Mario asked, him and Luigi bursting with laughter. Ike and Link exchanged nervous glances.  
"Let the deathmatch begin!" Luigi hollered.

"Practice is for losers, anyway." Ike said and then threw his sword up. He then jumped after it, yelling "GREAT AETHER!" He attempted to grab the sword, but it fell down.  
"Wha-?" Ike fell down and landed on the ground with a thud.  
"Ow..."  
"Watch the sword!" Link yelled.  
"This match is gonna end quick." He muttered as he charged toward Ike. He jumped, ready to perform his 'Ending Blow.' Unfortunately for him, as he brought the sword down, instead of stopping at 90 degrees, it went full-circle, hitting him in the...part. He fell straight down to the ground, mouth drooling, leg twitching.  
"Um...I think he may be dead." said Luigi.  
"So...I win?" Ike asked, getting up.  
"No suicidal hits." Mario said, mocking Toadsworth. Another flyguy came up and dropped a mushroom in Link's mouth. Link got up with his eyes closed and his tongue sticking out.  
"Ew, next time, give me a fairy."  
"Dah, you're gonna eat a fairy!" A freaked-out Ike screamed. Ignoring Ike's single-digit IQ, Link charged at him again, bringing his sword up to attack. Ike rolled out at the last second.  
"Oh, it's on!" He yelled.

They charged at each other again and again, swords clashing, tempers growing. Neither of them giving an inch.  
"Kill him, Link!" Ganon shouted. The swords stopped and all eyes were on the dark lord, who was blushing (yes, blushing).  
"I mean...Go Ike?" The fight continued.  
"It doesn't look like the swords are working. Thankfully, I have other means of destroying you." Link smirked. He did a double back-flip and posed holding his bow/arrow, bombs, gale boomerang & iron boots.  
"It makes you wonder how he carries all that when he doesn't have any pockets." Luigi said to Mario.  
"Link is one of a kind." Mario replied.  
"Yeah, but he can't carry more than 300 rupees..." Luigi grumbled. Ike extended his metal gloves.  
"Me too." He said, sprinting side to side.  
"Posers." Mario said. Link jumped up onto the announcers' booth and repetitively fired his bow at Ike's head, who dodged every single one with his incredible agility.  
"My shot." He said, as he pulled out a lance.  
"The mighty Wishblade!" Marth gasped. Ike threw the Wishblade at Link who jumped off the announcers' booth. The Wishblade went right through the glass, caught Luigi's shirt and pinned him to the wall.  
"Aaaah-ha-ha-haa!"  
"Oh grow up, Luigi." Mario said. Meanwhile, as Link was falling, he put on his iron boots, aiming for Ike. But, he was ready, too. CLING! Link's boots had landed on Ike's metal gloves. They were frozen in battle. Link on Ike, foot on hand, metal on metal. Ragnell and the Master Sword laying in the dust. Who will be the victor of this glorious deathmatch?

**Only you can decide! Vote in the reviews, PM or my poll! Criticism appreciated. ;D**


End file.
